I can see your life from up here

So, President Obama and I were on this scaffold. Well, to be honest, it wasn't really a scaffold. It was more like a rectangular surfboard kind of a thing, and it was suspended in mid-air. We were both standing on it, and there were no railings, no ropes or anything to hold onto. The surboardy-scaffoldy thing was level with the top of the Empire State building and we were looking down on the Macy's Day Parade as it passed below us.

As dreams go, this one was emotionally vivid. I distinctly remember looking down at the parade floats and seeing them as toys, and then coming slowly to the realization that they only looked tiny because I was so incredibly unbelievably terrifyingly high off the ground with nothing to hold onto except a powerful leader.

Hmmm.

He said to me, "As you look down there, can you come to an appreciation of how high up you are right now?" A toy bus passed under the surfboardy-scaffoldy thing.

"Yes," I replied. "And it's making me sick to my stomach and making my knees weak... Can you please just lower me? I want to be back on the ground."

Slowly the scaffoldy-surfboardy thing floated down and I got off.

You see, I've been very impatient as of late. Frustrated because things I've been hoping and praying for haven't been developing quickly enough for me. I've been arguing with God about His timing.

I'm 55 years old for Your Sake. What the heck are we waiting for? 

So God - disguised as a powerful presence for which I hold great affection and respect - took me up really, really, high, and invited me to look down on life the way He might see it. When you can see both the beginning and the ending of the parade at the same time you don't see it for its individual parts and pieces. When you're on the sidewalk watching, all you can see is a humungous floating SpongeBobSquarePants, then a squad of veterans, then a beauty queen, then a giggle of clowns, each one monopolizing your view in turn. But from up there on the scaffoldy surfboardy thing, you see the parade's entirety, its holism. And the passage of time takes on new meaning; time grips more tightly when you are standing up close, and exhales a bit when you gain distance. The older I get, the more I appreciate that. I was in a bad marriage for 15 years. When I was 35, that accounted for nearly half of my time on this earth. Now, I see it as a difficult relationship from my youth. Hopefully I will live long enough to see it reduced to a diminutive float in the parade of my life. I can catch glimpses of that even from where I stand now.

From His eternal perpective I imagine that God sees the whole of my life. And it all makes sense, it all flows down a perfect boulevard to a place that I can't see because I'm down here, marching in the parade. And I think that through this dream, He was telling me that I wouldn't like it if I could be up there, seeing things from His perspective. It would make me dizzy, and frighten me to have the kind of vision reserved for God and his angels.

So with my feet on the ground, I will wait and trust that God-bama knows exactly what He is doing. Left, right, left, right, left, right...

Peace,

Julie

Julie Scipioni

 is a writer, speaker, and the co-author of the #1 Amazon bestselling novel, 

Iris & Lily

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